As a little white rabbit said “I’m late, I’m late…”
But I managed to pull something together eventually. The thing about Friday Fictioneers is the big hook, once you’re on you just don’t want to wriggle off! The photo this week is courtesy of Lora Mitchell and the Friday Fictioneers are lovingly corralled each week by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
Waiting
Martha stares out at the city one last time.
Seems she is always waiting.
She had waited for a husband to love.
She had waited a while for their first child.
She had waited in vain for their second.
She had waited for her husband to love her as she loved him.
She waits for the bus, holding one bag and one silent child, ‘can’t have any more that don’t speak’
She waits at her mother’s door for the comforting arms that will hold them both; for the heart that is bigger than the ocean, to envelop them in love.
Sweet sad story – glad she’s got her mother
Yes, mothers rock!
Thanks for reading. I’ll be over to read yours later, got Wales v England 6 Nations rugby this afternoon – grand slam decider for England.
Sad but still a feel-good factor at the end. Nice one. Enjoy your rugby. I’ve been watching the rained-off qualifying for F1.
Thank you Sandra.
The rugby was fantastic, Wales 30 England 3. The atmosphere in the stadium was electric, a very enjoyable day
This a sad story written nicely.
Thank you for reading, pleased that you liked it.
Oh so sad.. but as long as there is a mother to comfort i hope she will be okay.
Thank you Bjorn – a mother’s love is always comforting.
Sad and hopeful at once. Poor Martha – at least she has someplace that she and her child can find shelter and love.
Thanks for reading.
I’m sure they will both find love and comfort
Sad story Dee. Thank goodness for moms. Enjoy the Rugby match!
Tom
Hi Tom
Thanks for reading.
The rugby was great, not much voice left at the end, but some would say that’s not a bad thing!
Dee, hope the rugby’s going your way. Wish we got it here. As for being late, you’re not too late unless the links are closed. You’re so right about the hook–it’s an addictive one!!
Am I right that the child is mute? Nicely done story of the love of two moms.
janet
Hi Janet
Thanks for reading and yes you are right, the child is mute.
The rugby was superb, Wales 30 England 3 which means Wales denied England a Grand Slam victory and won the 6 Nations Championship on points.
A great day in Cardiff.
An original take for this difficult photo prompt. Nicely done!
Thank you for reading, so glad you liked the story.
This is beautiful, I have goose bumps all over!
Thank you!
Sorry about the good bumps, but glad you liked the story
A mother’s love surpasses all other. Very good.
Thank you. It was a difficult one this week, glad you liked it.
I feel like giving both of them a big hug. You moved me with this story.
A big hug would be good.
Glad you liked the story .
A creative take on this prompt, Dee. Very nicely done.
Thank you for reading and for your comments, glad you liked it
I felt the emotion, I wonder if she wanted a do over, or if that thought would be too cruel for her to imagine.
Thanks Bill, think she knows there is no going back.
true — do overs only play.
Dear Dee,
A very sweet story. If you’re open to a bit of constructive crit, I think If you took out the word had in had waited, it will strengthen those sentences. Since the first couple of sentences are present tense, we’ll get the idea without the passive voice. “She waited for a husband. She waited…” and so on. Of course, it’s your call but I’d urge you to try it on for size.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and for your comments. I originally wrote this in the present tense and then wondered if people would understand, so I changed it.
I’ll put up another version and see what happens.
Thanks as usual for taking the time for constructive criticism
Happy Sunday
Dee
Mother’s are the ones who are always there ! Nice
Thank you, glad you liked it
Dear Dee,
This was a really wonderful story. Made me sad, made me smile, made me glad you’re on the bus with us.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug
Thank you so much.
I’m so happy to be on this bus with such great people
Dee
I am so glad she had somewhere to go. God bless the warm comfort and security of mothers. NIce work, Dee.
Thank you Lora
It seems her husband could not or would not give her unconditional and complete love.
Thanks for reading Joe. Think caring for their disabled child put an enormous strain on their already fragile relationship.
This is excellent! Absolutely! The style and the story are great!
And even before the story, I was amused by “lovingly corralled”
Thank you for your kind comment Abraham. I am so pleased that you liked the story
Dee
One of these days I’ll climb aboard the fiction train…
Oh please do, I’d love to read your stories x
Thanks for the encouragement. You’re a sweetie!