Here is the prompt for Friday Fictioneers this week from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Genre: Memoir (100 words)
He should be here, you say with that trembling voice,
Will you ask him to hurry?
Why is he taking so long?
Years ago you voiced the accusations of your doubting mind
Out loud, deceit, faithlessness, disloyalty,
He had no chance to stay your ranting onslaught,
You were frighteningly ferocious, they say.
I was too young to know him,
Too young to understand the words I may have half heard before sleep,
You are too old now to realise that he can’t come back,
But I repeat again the soothing words
There there, don’t worry you will see him soon.
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You squeezed a lot in here – more than I would have thought possible in 100 words – really enjoyed this and read it several times over.
Thank you, it was a different approach for me and I’m so glad you liked it.
It’s always refreshing to read a poetic take on the prompt.. Sad though to go through the stage where you wait for a loved one who’s never going to come back.. Love the way you put the last line although to soothe her but holds some truth.. I interpret it that maybe in afterlife you’ll see him again!
This is based loosely on my grandmother and yes you’re right about the afterlife being the next meeting place. I’m sure she loved my grandfather, but she drove him away with her accusations and anger which I’m told she couldn’t control
I like the ‘too young’ ‘too old’ contrast there. Nice flow to this story.
Thanks Sandra. Your comments are always appreciated.
Great poetry with alliteration, contrast, back-story, double meaning! All in 100 well-chosen words!
Thank you Abraham, your comments are much appreciated
love the connection of the two women and the comforting words.
Thank you, glad you liked it
Dee
Dee,
Sweet poetry….nice contrast, flow, good use of language, smooth, kind truthful, honest, sad, warm…Well done. Hat is off for you and I bow.
Tom
Tom
I find myself smiling broadly at the thought of you bowing. I wouldn’t normally attempt poetry and yet you liked this piece.
Thank you for your comments, very much appreciated.
Dee
Hi Dee,
You put a great deal in this story, tracing the years from childhood to adultery, or at least the suspicion, to old age. Nicely done. Ron
Hi Ron
Thank you so much,I really appreciate your comments
Dee
I liked the style and the story, Dee. I took the soothing words are the ones said to the Speaker many years ago to sooth a missed father.
Thanks Ted. I altered the truth a little, the man who left was my grandfather and this was one of many memories my mother had of her childhood.
Dee
Loved the poetic take on this, a lot of story in few words with repetitions to put emphasis on the story.
Thank you Bjorn, it is a change of style for me, glad you liked it
Dee
What you said…so poetically…is reminiscent of what many young women experience, I’m sure…including myself.
I would love to participate in Friday Fictioneers. Do I just jump right in with two…hands? Or do I need an invite? If not, do I just write a story and add it to the link?
hugs for leading me to FF…
You don’t need an invitation, the photo prompt is posted by Rochelle on Wednesday giving anyone who would like to participate enough time to get something posted by Friday. I can’t get the link while writing this but you can get it by clicking on Rochelle’s name at the top of my last story, that should get you started. Any problems with it please let me know.
It will be lovely to see you taking part, your writing is so readable.
Look forward to seeing you on Friday Fictioneers
Dee
Hugs for the info, Dee. I’ve wanted to participate in something but photos weren’t my strength. Writing is more pleasurable for me. Joining other writers will be like…going home.
You’re welcome. I’m really looking forward to reading your stories
Thank you. It’s given me renewed inspiration to blog more. I’d fallen off lately for a variety of reasons. But I’ll look forward to Wednesdays and Fridays…and reading others’ writings, including yours.
Thanks hugmamma, so glad you liked it
Dee
Well deserved! BTW…did you get my second comment re joining Friday Fictioneers? Would love to join your community.
Thank you hugmammaa
I did reply with FF information, you should have it by now hopefully x
Got it! Click on Rosalie’s blog for writing prompt on Wednesday. I think I can manage that…
hugs!
Was the prompt for Friday “Make Every Word Count?” and do you have to subscribe to InLinkz to participate? Or am I just copying my story to the site with all the thumbnail gravatars?
I read the InLinkz site, but wasn’t sure about everything it said.
Thanks for your help.
This is the link to Rochelle’s site http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers-2/
If you click on that on a Wednesday you will see her latest post on the top left hand side of the page – she usually just uses the date for the FF post
When you open the post you will see a photo which you save and add to the beginning of your post. When you are ready, go back to the page and click on the linkz little man and add your details to the box that will open up. The url is the details of your post/story (it will be something like http://hugmamma.wordpress.com/storytitle ) you add your email if you want to, then follow the prompts to add an image – your photo or another it’s your choice.
Thinking about it, the easiest option is to follow Rochelle that way you will get the prompt each week
Sorry if this is a bit long winded – I tend to get carried away!
Thank you for the hugs, sending them back to you
You’re a sweetheart for taking the time. I will add Rochelle to my blogroll. I’m excited to tap into a community of writers in Friday Fictioneers.
hugs for your patience and generosity.
My pleasure
Blesses and smiles…
The years have past and she still seeks for his love. Sad story – I really want to know what happened to her love in their seperation.
Thanks YJ
The story is based on my grandmother’s somewhat tempestuous relationship with my grandfather – she literally drove him away.
She remained on her own for the rest of her life and I believe that she still loved him, although her pride wouldn’t let her take him back
Just plain sad
Thanks for reading and for your comment
Dee